Jackie Collins in the Seventies

 Best-selling novelist, Jackie Collins is someone whose features have remained spookily the same over the years.  Jackie likes to attribute her lack of ageing to her famous Collins genes as her face has hardly changed one whit over the passage of time. 

 Jackie’s clothes style also hasn’t changed over the decades as she continues to sport her signature look.  The bouffant shoulder-length hair, the dangling earrings and matching pendant, the v-necked top to show off that cleavage are all ever-present, topped off by a fitted jacket.

 In fact, it could still be 1975 according to La Collins because Jackie still remains completely fossilised in time, oblivious to any style changes.

Jackie Collins and Raquel Welch

However Jackie’s essential look is part of her glamorous persona (coupled with the problem of competing with her elder and more sophisticated sister, Joan).  If she attended a book signing session looking like a bag-lady then her numerous fans would be in for a hefty shock.

 Which causes an interesting conundrum for figures in the spotlight – how far do you have to dress to live up to public expectations?    If you do not, you disappoint your fans.  If you do, however you run the danger of fossilising your looks, pickled in aspic to remain always the same.  And that has happened to Jackie.

Which takes me to actor Peter Wyngarde.  In the 1970s, Peter Wyngarde struck TV gold, playing the part of Jason King in the television series Department S. 

Peter Wyngarde as Jason King

Jason King was famous for his wardrobe, a wardrobe that epitomised the best and the worst of Seventies taste (depending on your view-point) with eye-popping kipper ties and  3-piece suits that sported lapels so wide they could fly you to Madagascar and back.

Alas, playing the cool Mr King was the high-spot of Mr Wyngarde’s television career and he crashed rapidly out of the public view when the series ended.

However earlier this year, a national newspaper berated Mr Wyngarde for being spotted in the street, looking scruffy and unkempt so unlike his uber flamboyant screen character.

Mr Wyngarde replied in writing, pointing out he had played a wide range of parts in his theatrical career so why on earth was he expected to look and wear clothes like Jesus and Genghis Khan, merely because he had acted those roles?

Peter Wyngarde, pictured in the street.

He had a valid point – did the general public really expect him to appear in his 3-piece suits of yester-year.  Why would he look exactly the same as three decades ago? And since he is now relatively anonymous, he has the luxury of dressing exactly how he likes and not to please his public.

Nevertheless, if you are a rock star then it is perfectly acceptable to fossilise your looks.  Francis Rossi, lead singer with Status Quo has worn his rock star uniform of waistcoat, shirt and jeans for 35 years alongside his trade-mark ponytail.  The ponytail got the chop last year as Rossi decided to update his look.

Rossi admitted rather sheepishly it had to go as thinning hair no longer meant a viable ponytail.

“In the past year my hair has got so thin….a few weeks ago it dawned on me that I looked ridiculous so I decided to forget about clinging to my youth”.

Well done Mr Rossi.  It takes a great deal of courage to ditch a fossilised look that no longer rocks.  Far better to remain a national treasure than an ancient ruin.

By Lindsey Nicholls

 Harem  pants, Ugg boots and leggings…. These are just a few of the fashion items that men hate women to wear according to a recent survey.  Casting my mind around, I have come up with the male equivalent of sartorial no-no’s that women hate to see.  However I have to confess that some females are equally guilty in partaking of the below!

 1)    Football shirts

 All over England, men of all shapes and sizes suddenly feel the need to don sweaty pieces of white and red polyester that costs the earth as the World Cup finally kicks off.

This is done in an effort to “support the lads” ie the England football team.  This seems rather strange – after all did men feel compelled to wear pale blue shirts with enormous flamenco sleeves to support Torvill and Dean’s Bolero routine in the Winter Olympics?  Or sport a pair of giant bottle-top glasses as Eddie the Eagle skied down the slopes in Calgary? 

 And I have yet to spy any male in a full set of cricket flannels when it’s England v Australia in the Ashes.

 The sad truth is even England footballers don’t look that great in kit.  That’s why Fabio Capello made sure the whole squad looked smart as paint in their made to measure, Marks and Spencer suits.  Fabio knows three piece suits look better than three lions any day.

 2)    Track suit bottoms

 They are always grey, inevitably spattered with white paint or bits of pizza with a few lager stains.  Their owners can be detected lumbering down the high street, resembling an elephant’s bottom.  There’s only thing that looks worse than a bloke in trackie suit bottoms – and that’s a woman.

 3)    Surfing Shorts

 Why is it men who wear restrained and tasteful colours all the year round suddenly feel compelled to run amok with colour, like toddlers in a Crayola factory?  Suddenly garish surf board shorts sprout along the beaches, decorated with huge hibiscus prints worn by men who normally deem stripy underpants sartorially risky.  The beach boy look is best left to others.  Stick to something in one colour or a tasteful print – your holiday photos will thank you for it. 

 4)    Cargo trousers

 These are now on the way out, thankfully, having peaked in popularity a few years ago.  There’s a whole myriad of things to hate.  The range of vile colours that resemble a muddied paint box – sludge brown, cabbage green or battleship grey which eternally depress the soul.

 Then there are the saggy pockets on the legs that encourage the wearer to fill with possessions thus appearing to have a rampant  fungus like growth up their legs.  If you want to resemble a beast of burden get a man-bag instead.  You won’t look any less ridiculous.

 5)    Shorts

 There is something very appealing about a man wearing a crisp, well-pressed pair of shorts in summer.

 However, most shorts never appear to have seen an iron for their limited summer life.  Made of cheap cotton, they have more wrinkles than a tortoise and fade dramatically after the first wash.

 To look best in shorts try on a few pairs to ensure that the proportions suit you otherwise you could end up looking like an over-sized scout.  Try and go for better quality fabric so the image is Out of Africa rather than out of Matalan.

 6)    Feet

 There’s no hiding your feet in summer sandals.  However, if your prehensile talons look less human and more suited to an iguana than a basic pedicure will set you off on the right foot.  Clip those nails properly and pinch an emery board (not a wood file!) to file down those snaggly ends.  Rub away hard skin with a pumice stone and you’ll soon have fairy feet. 

 However if you feel your feet are beyond redemption then please protect them from public view.  Take a tip from Princess Diana who hated her feet so much she never wore sandals.  Try canvas deck shoes or loafers (without socks) for a casual and summery look and no-one will be any the wiser as to what horrors lurk beneath.

By Lindsey Nicholls

  Conjoined clothing – the art of dressing like your partner is everywhere this spring.  Nowhere has it been seen more clearly in the run up of the General Election with both the Camerons and the Browns going head to head (and hip to hip) in the aim to create a winning look.  (The Cleggs opted out – the fiercesome Mrs Clegg does not even do ironing let alone matching clothing.)

The message behind conjoined clothing is about putting on a united front and presenting yourselves as a team to the world – it’s the X and Y Factor.  It’s a tricky thing – get it wrong and you are more likely to look gruesome twosome rather than winning twinning so what’s the best way to go about it?

Remember Howard and Hilda from the TV series, Ever Decreasing Circles and those Noel Edmond’s Eighties jumpers?  It was a running gag that Howard and Hilda not only borrowed each other’s words but also each other’s wardrobe.

 In a similar vein, David and Victoria Beckham once sported his and hers biker suits that made them both look like a walking advert for Land of Leather.

 To get the look right, opt for a more formal and classic look.  Make sure the colours suit both of you.  Gordon and Sarah Brown nail it spot-on here.  Both opt to wear linen-look in a chocolate brown.  Sarah’s neat and elegant dress with its wide lapels echoes her husband’s jacket and the cardigan (although a tad mumsy) of lilac-grey softens the look and matches Gordon’s tie perfectly.  The necklace of quartz beads adds the right finishing touch and complements the blue of the ex-Prime Minister’s shirt.

 The Camerons, on the same trail, also hit the right note.  Samantha Cameron’s empire-line dress in dark wool works alongside David’s dark business suit and white shirt.  The message is of uniformity and brisk business is clearly on the agenda.  Only Sam’s pendant necklace and peep-toe shoes hint at a touch of individuality.

Now that the election is over we will probably see the end of this look.  Both sets of partners can return to their individual wardrobes with a collective sigh of relief.  Which is a bit of a shame since it certainly brings a new meaning to putting on your party dress…

  Ah, the colour purple.  Purple’s a difficult colour to wear since it must be treated with right reverence and careful consideration.  It is, however, very popular especially the choice of Cadbury Purple lining as an excellent foil for our Cad and The Dandy suits and jackets.

 Purple has a fascinating history.  The original colour of Tyrian purple is the colour of a dye made from snails and up to 12,000 of the slimy creatures were needed to produce just 1.5 g of dye.  The colour was therefore only worn by the wealthy who could afford it; the imperial robes of Roman emperors were purple whilst royal purple was worn by the medieval kings in Europe.

 Purple became main-stream in the 1850s, thanks to the upstart aniline dye mauve, invented by a talented young chemist called William Perkins.  Now that mauve could be produced cheaply and synthetically, it roared into society, becoming the undisputed colour of high fashion of the masses.  Purple as a colour for the elite had gone forever.

 Yet purple has once again hit the headlines, due the recent election campaigns.  Possibly bored with their red and blue insignia, both the Browns and the Camerons have recently been photographed wearing it.

 David and Samantha Cameron get it effortlessly and silkily right – both chose to dress in midnight blue and Cameron’s purple tie on a crisp white shirt looks commanding and business-like whilst his wife’s blue-green belt softens the lines of her simple dress.   To pose in the same colour could look perilously naff but here the overall effect is chic and co-ordinated.

 Poor old Gordon and Sarah Brown languish behind once again in the fashion stakes.  Gordon’s lilac tie is too soft set against his baby-blue shirt and the look lacks authority; Sarah’s delicate Titian hair suits purple well but her dress, especially the neckline, is too fussy.

 Marry purple to such partners as dark fuchsia to give it a spritz or tone it down with an olive or racing green.  Try not to kill it with black.  Purple is an excellent alternative to burgundy which is a mite too redolent of the old school uniform for many.

 However, despite purple’s links with authority and history, it also carries undertones of a maverick.  The Suffragettes chose it as one of their official colours whilst embarking on their campaigns to obtain the vote for women whilst it is also the colour of the UKIP party.

Finally if any politico has delusions of power and grandeur then they only need to hark back to Spitting Image’s portrayal of Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in her last months –  as the mad Roman emperor Caligula, complete with demonic flashing eyes, laurels and imperial robes.  It’s a timely warning…..

It’s quite amazing how many of those who purchase high end cameras, additional lenses and expensive accessories, investing not a single minute of their time into practice or examination of composition, then exhibit surprise that their shots are ‘not quite what they hoped they’d be.’ And for those who purchase sets of Global knives, a Kitchenaid and Mauviel pans and scratch their heads in bewilderment when their home made concoctions are little more than slop. One’s equipment is only as good as one’s ability; a mediocre artist with high end tools can only hope for a higher quality of mediocrity.

The same also goes for expensively purchased suits. No matter how avant-garde the design, how finely tailored, how perfectly accessorised; if you don’t wear your suits properly, it all goes to waste. I walked down the Strand recently and caught sight of an odd looking man in a beautiful chalk stripe suit. It was the right cut, the right shape and appeared to be well finished but he had loaded his poor pockets with what were probably important business accessories but may as well have been Bedfordshire bricks. The pockets could no doubt withstand the incredible weight and stress but what was really upsetting was that the whole aesthetic of the suit, the line, had been interrupted by these hideous and entirely avoidable cysts.

Considering the number of pockets that are sewn into suits, it can be rather tempting to drop into them items normally carried in briefcases and back pockets. A well tailored suit won’t fall apart if you do so but it would be so grossly altered in silhouette that the qualities for which it should be noticed would be concealed. I know someone who cares little about suits but still manages to purchase, off the peg, at decent English outfitters. Unfortunately, as he cares little about them, he cares little for them; his jacket becomes a mobile office with multiple Blackberries, pens, MP3 players and wallets bulging from his pockets. Consequently, the suit is utterly altered. It is no longer smart and presentable but merely a garment of depressing utility.

The suit we all know and love was not designed for this briefcase-free age of mobile telephony and portable music. It is of fine craft and fine lines and demands respect.

The other gear grinding issue with those who wear suits is that they often wear them as if they were manufactured by The North Face. In recent showers I noticed gentlemen scuttling around without raincoats or umbrellas, soaking their suits in London’s autumn rain. In my experience, suits are considerably worsened by exposure to rain. Naturally, suits are not, and nor should they be, items requiring precious protection but they are certainly not all-weather items. The worsted suit is no Barbour. A gentleman should wear a raincoat and carry a decent stick umbrella. No matter the suit, walking without these items in the rain makes you look like a vagrant.

Whenever I see a notched lapel these days, I can’t help but feel a little disappointed. It’s not that I have anything against the poor old notch but it is simply that its continual deployment, in suits of varying formality and style, is rather excessive. I have duly bemoaned the practice of producing dinner suits, and even white tie tailcoats, with a notched lapel as an act of design laziness. And although some might bite back when I vocalise my disdain with the words ‘What’s wrong with the notched lapel?’ I might easily riposte, ‘Well, what happened to the peak lapel?’

Sartorially blind men cannot, and will not, see the difference between the two. Such a slight distinction would surely go unnoticed, they argue. I would disagree. In actual fact, a peak or a notch can make or break the aesthetics of the suit. It can be the difference between a winner and a clanger. With patterned suits this becomes particularly evident. My rule with checked suits is always to select a peak lapel, unless the suit is a casual three-button one. Check patterns draw the eye to right angles; the notch becomes conspicuous. The purpose of the notch or the peak is not to draw attention to itself. It is there to assist with the ‘flow’ of the suit.

With striped suits this issue becomes less important but I personally consider that striped suits are more formal suits and should, ideally, be made with a matching waistcoat for the colder times of year. A formal suit, and a three-piece one, should be made with a peak lapel. Notches look amateurish. If you need a guide for the lapel/formality issue, have a look at the double-breasted jacket. More formal than its single-breasted cousin, it always has a peak lapel.

Beyond the question of formality, there is the issue of flattery. Peak lapels are an excellent choice for men with narrow shoulders as the peaks themselves ‘point’ outwards to each shoulder, exaggerating their width. With a tailored waist, this flatters the wearer’s torso – wider shoulders and a narrow waist are the ideal.

Naturally, there are jackets for which a peak lapel would be too formal. Three button jackets should always be notched as the lapels are too short to allow the peak to work properly – proper peaks look like razor sharp blades cutting down the face of the suit; the longer the better. Country tweeds are less formal and should have notched lapels. The same goes for linen jackets and casual corduroys, but plain City suits can be either peaked or notched, depending on personal taste and planned usage. If you wish to look like a relaxed, prosciutto chewing Italian the notch is what you need. If however you’re wanting to be seen as a rakish, oyster gulping Brit the peak will help you look the part.

If ever you receive an invitation to an event that reads ‘Black Tie’ and utter a weary groan, it’s probable that you are simply not equipped for the occasion. If you rent your dinner suit, this groan is likely to be accompanied by an overbearing sense of shame and waste; the depressing journey to the renters, the awkward sizes, the regret at paying hard earned cash for a substandard item that will never even be yours. It all adds up to a remarkably unhappy experience.

The most frequently cited reason for a chap not owning a decent dinner suit is that the one-off expense of the purchase is simply not worthwhile. Black tie functions still happen, they contend, but they’re rarer and rarer; an acquaintance informed me they’d only been invited to one in the last three years. Admittedly, a dinner suit gets used far less than any other suit a gentleman might own but that alone should be no bar to making the investment.

The majority of functions to which a gentleman will wear black tie are social functions and a great number, at least in my experience, are occasions I would refer to as ‘social-professional’; in other words, they pertain to the person’s workplace or career. At such occasions, there are considerable opportunities to make the case for progression and promotion. Looking the part can be incredibly important. Most of the people I know who have been promoted quickly, if not prematurely, are people who are confident and convey the sense of natural belonging; if, in addition to meriting such a position, you look like you belong in the boardroom, it probably won’t be too long before you’re there.

My advice would be to get your dinner suit made to measure. Too many off the rack tuxedos look the same, are of dubious quality and, important to mention this, are invariably in need of correction. Many men chuckle about being James Bond when they pull on their dinner suit but how many of these men are wearing suits worthy of the association? And how many are pulling on polyester, satin striped trousers, clip on poly bow ties, enormous shirts and overlong, notched sheen lapel jackets? At a function it is important to suit the drink you are holding. Gentlemen attired so poorly will look utterly lost with their dry martini. The tailored dinner suit may not be worn all that often, but when it is, the effect will be devastating.

My advice would be to get a one button single breasted jacket in black or midnight blue (the latter is preferred) with peaked lapels – this is crucial, notched lapels are too casual – with a ribbed silk, not satin, face. Your shirt should ideally be made to measure also with a turn down collar that is not too cutaway as the bow should always have a little ‘seat.’ Trousers should be, naturally, of the same material and should have double stitch piping, and not a satin stripe, down the leg. The trousers should be pleated (ideally double pleats) and not flat fronted as flat fronted trousers are too informal for this most formal of suits. Buttons on such a suit should not be too showy but they should be slightly better than the standard black plastic. A ribbed silk ‘shank’ button is ideal.

The waistcoat issue is simple; I wear one in winter and not in summer. I would always get one made with a dinner suit, single or double breasted with, importantly, shawl collar lapels. Finally, invest in some patent Oxfords or opera pumps, buy some black silk socks, always wear a matte, silk bow that you tie yourself and when it comes to pocket squares, when in doubt, always fold a square of white cotton.

The chances are, your first tailor made suit was a cautious, conservative choice. This prudence is perfectly natural; to choose a solid grey with two buttons, notched lapels and standard pocket and button configurations. ‘Standard’ is useful. ‘Safe’ is a refuge in times of uncertainty. ‘Sensible’ works.

However, for your second tailor made suit, you should try something a little different. Nothing too outrageous, as outrageous suits are only really for those who already consider themselves ‘well-stocked’ and don’t mind splashing out on something frivolous. Something they might only wear when they require the attention of all passers by. Consider the ingredients that go to make an unusual, more individual suit.

COLOUR

Your second suit could perhaps be an unusual colour. Though dark blue or mid-grey were the likely choices for your first suit, now that you have broken through this inevitable formal opening ceremony, you can start to wade through the colour spectrum with a little more ease. Mid-blues and light greys have character and can look quite sleek and chic – a la Mad Men – if made in a simple, slim-fit single breasted style with one or two buttons. Brown worsted is a wonderful choice for autumn, and a perfectly smart way in which to break the ‘No brown in town’ rule.

PATTERN

Chalk stripes are back and there is no better season for them than the impending one. When made well they have a gorgeous, sepia quality, reminiscent of a Gregory Peck or Cary Grant ensemble. They look very smart in a three-piece format – a double breasted version with lapels would be particularly fine – and it is always a good idea to get striped suits made properly; i.e. with proper pattern matching.

Window checks are particularly English and rather Marmite-ish; some adore them, some hate them. I think if the suit is well cut, the pattern matched properly and the shirt and tie choice sensible, it is difficult to dislike the charm of such a suit. No one looks miserable or old in a window check suit. Add a natty lining and you’ll smile every time you put it on.

POCKETS

The chances are, the pocket configuration of your first suit was practical and cautious; two, non-slanted. As smart as this configuration is, you can really work with a suit to make the way your pockets sit a standalone feature; slanted pockets look rakish. They flatter the torso shape of the wearer by drawing attention to the slimmest part of the jacket. I also like adding a ticket pocket as the asymmetry is far more satisfying and interesting.

BUTTONS

Buttons are very noticeable on garments, especially at close range. They become the focus after the material and cut have been analysed. Getting ‘different’ buttons right is all about selecting colours and styles that work well together and about choosing the right sort of buttons for an occasion. On mid-blue suits, for example, dark horn buttons are one of the best choices as the brownish tones complement the coolness of the suit well. The effect is particularly striking on a double breasted suit. Wedding waistcoats look glorious when made with mother of pearl ‘shank’ buttons, grey chalk stripes look splendid with dark browns and evening jackets look best with ribbed silk shanks.

The other choice for buttons relates to the cuff. In my mind, the fewer the buttons the more formal the suit looks. The more buttons there are, and the more varied the spacing, the more casual it tends to look. I would encourage two buttons for very formal suits and up to five for less formal suits. Kissing buttons are rarer but no less formal than non-kissing buttons.

Collecting, a friend of mine observed, is a pastime of the idle. It is, so they told me, a sign of man’s excessive productivity. Unsurprisingly, my friend and I differ in our opinions regarding man’s wants and needs. Naturally, in a world without the paraphernalia we are surrounded with, I need merely shelter, an animal skin or two to keep warm and perhaps the Promethean luxury of fire. However, man has evolved. We don’t live in that minimalist culture. We live, in the western world, in a time of abundance. Whereas our ancient ancestors might have braved wind and rain for an uncooked bite of deer, we have not only beautifully cooked, and aged, meat, but meat substitute.

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Amongst the style choices and personal permutations possible in designing ones suit the greatest area of choice, and often confusion, is that of which cloth to use. All too many people have been known to spend hours deliberating over this before finally selecting the cloth that is right for them.

Selecting a cloth needn’t be as daunting as at first it seems when searching, as if to find a needle in a haystack when viewing the inevitable ream upon ream of fabric across many bunches.  Before even being tempted to open up a bunch of fabric cast your mind back to your wardrobe.  If like many of us you do have a selection of suits hanging up then think most simply what colour suits you have. If you have three plain blue suits already, then there is little use to buy another unless specifically called for.  Try and think therefore what you don’t have.  No grey in your wardrobe?  Well then grey may just be the place to start.  Similarly if you only have busy patterned or striped shirts you are best to stick to a plain suit material rather than a pinstripe or check.

The other thought to bring to the mind when selecting a cloth is simply what will the suit be used for.  This will help determine the type of cloth to use. By type I refer to the cloths weight.  For a suit that is to be worn (more…)